Crushing ones 'passion fruits'

Random Act of Kindness No. 32 – Give your old watch to someone who doesn’t have one.

Ok first thing – look outside it is still light (at 17.40 anyway) how amazing is that. The long evenings are nearly upon us. You beauty!

Secondly, please someone tell me who owns a watch these days? Surely nobody. Everyone has a mobile that has a clock on it, or are like me and can tell the time by looking at the sun.

As a result of, one me not owning a watch or even having an old one I could give away, and two I’m sure no one has a watch these days, I decided to politely shelve this RAOK. I instead thought I would do another RAOK.

I was at Borough Market this morning having a little wander round, and a munch on the free tasters; there was this amazing fruit stall I was standing at for a while. It was pretty exotic. I saw some Passion fruits and I know my housemate has a serious addiction to Passion fruits and she is always buying them by the bucket load. I bought her three of the finest Passion fruits. Well, judging by my knowledge on a good and bad Passion fruit. I then thought to myself. Why don’t I buy a couple of my housemate’s favourite things and take them back for her as my RAOK.

So,

Random Act of Kindness No, 32 – spoil your housemates with a couple of their favourite things and surprise them.

I meandered off to her next favourite thing, Olives. I stood at the olive stall having a wee taste, and then came across an immense combination of Olive, Garlic and Jalapeno. Now those who know my housemate will know she has a serious fetish for Jalapenos. Killing two birds with one stone as it were, Olives and Jalapenos in one. I asked for a little tub of those corkers. I also splashed out on myself and got distracted by the smell of sausages so bought myself some lunch, an immense ciabatta with 2 wild bore sausage and a rocket salad with a ‘drizzle’ of cranberry, and red wine sauce. Hmmmm. After consuming that I needed to head home for a wee lie down, so started the walk back. I got onto the Old Kent Rd and thought I would get a bus back from there.

When I arrived back at the Peckham Palace I went to my housemates room and told her I had something for her. I told her she would have to play a game to get the prize. We played hide and seek. I hid and she had to seek. I told her to count to 100 and then come and find me.

I had an amazing hiding place, in the empty cupboard in the kitchen. I hopped in and closed the door. After what felt to me like 10 minutes, I had to get out. My leg was cramping up from being wrapped around my head. I gracefully flopped out of the cupboard and had to seek refuge somewhere else. I then heard the words no ‘hider’ wants to hear when in an open hallway with no cracks or crevasses to slip into. “READY OR NOT…HERE I COME”, come to think of it, I don’t know if they are ever-nice words to hear.

My adrenalin started flowing, my fight or flight mode had kicked in. I chose flight. I made a run for it to the sitting room. As I careered down the hall way drifting around the piles of girls shoes, round the chicane, I did it. I did the dive. You know the dive. The dive of all dives. The ones you see in films as the beautiful girl and the rough looking man in a tight black t-shirt, slightly soiled from punching men in suits and rolling on the gravel dive for safety from an explosion. Oh yeah. It was that kind of dive. Suddenly I was in slow motion flying through the air aiming for the tiny crack behind the back of the sofa. It was beautiful.

Life as quick as it slowed down sped up again and seemed to double in speed. This wasn’t good. The arm of the sofa was going to hit me somewhere where any man would never want an arm of a sofa to hit them. Ya’ get me?

As I squirmed, holding back the tears, and most of all the scream that only happens when a sofa arm hits a man where any man would never want to be hit,  my housemate strolled into the room.

“well that was as easy as trying to find a cat in a cattery” Yeah thanks, please don’t talk to me until certain parts of my anatomy have fallen and have left my rib cage. After I collected myself I stood up and looked in the mirror. My eyes were as blood shot as man who has been on the ‘bizzo’ all night.

I think hide and seek from now on should be classed as a dangerous sport. Obviously, the prize that was in my hand through this whole ordeal was now sprawled  all over the sitting room floor. One of the Passion fruits took one for the team and ended up underneath me after the rough landing. I collected the remaining two Passion fruits and Olives and with a smile handed them to my housemate. Even after a slightly traumatic delivery she was still exceptionally pleased with them. Her eyes lit up the room, and a smile from ear to ear spread across her face. That after all, made me feel very happy.

Here is a little picture of what was left. 

So to round this up.

If anyone wants a new watch, get in touch with me and I will buy you one. Secondly, it is always nice buying a surprise gift for your housemates. But finally and most importantly, please, when playing hide and seek take appropriate safety precautions. Thank you.

I need to go and get some ice… peace and love.