The day I realised 99'ers are not 99p.

RAOK NO.13 Buy a pensioner an ice cream.

Now I’m not usually a superstitious person. I have no qualms about stepping on three drains or under ladders etc. However, today is my 13^th Random Act of Kindness and something had to go wrong.

It all started last night. My friend was having a party at her house. Alone, that is fine, however, when you have to meet you mum at 9.00am at Paddington station the following morning and I live in the South of London over an hour away, it was always going to be a tough day.

Now I may sound like I’m moaning; I don’t expect any sympathy and it is totally self-inflicted, nonetheless, I am going to carry on. I left the party and got into my bed by 3.30. That gives me a crackin’ 4hrs sleep. That’s ok I can deal with that.

Well then, I got up at the crack of dawn and jumped into the shower. I may as well have not bothered as it was torrential rain outside I could have just walked down the street with my shampoo in hand.

My head felt as though an Elephant was sitting on it whilst a Kangaroo was kicking me in the stomach. It was a hell of a feeling. I arrived at Paddington and met my mother. We headed off toward the National Theatre where she was going to see Frankenstein. En-route we stopped off for a few coffee breaks and to take cover from the rain. I safely escorted my mum to the theatre in time for the performance. Yeah – I didn’t go and see it. She could only get one ticket…or so she tells me.

I took up the opportunity whilst she was watching the performance to complete my RAOK. For some bizarre reason, there was by chance an ice-cream van parked up along the South Bank. Smashin’, I don’t have to go far to complete this one.

Ohhhh how I was wrong!

In the torrential rain there was not many cliental seeking an ice cream. I tried my best, offering ice cream to every ‘elderly’ (I am trying not to use the word pensioner) person who walked by. They weren’t keen. Everyone was declining my offer. I thought I should perhaps target the younger audience hanging around. Children always want ice cream right!

It turns out not even children want ice cream in the rain. My head dropped and I went to take cover and use the facilities of a near by Caffé Nero. I ordered myself a green tea. I thought I could do with some anti-oxidants. I eagerly went to take a heart-warming swig. Yes, that was a bad idea. BANG, my mouth was on fire, I may as well have just asked to shove my head under the boiling water tap. Sweet Mary – the pain started off in my mouth but spread quicker than a bush fire into the pit of my stomach. I just wanted to fall to the floor in the fetus position calling for my mother to rub my back and tell me everything was going to be alright. But she was busy watching Frankenstein. If only she had bought me a ticket this would not have been happening.

I collected my thoughts and sheepishly went to take a seat. I left it 10 minutes before I dared to take another sip. Once I plucked up the courage again, it was indeed at a more appropriate temperature to consume, however, yes there is a however. This was not green tea. Oh no my friend. It tasted as though someone had boiled up a cinnamon stick and thrown in some moldy apples. I can only assume it was meant to be spiced apple. Waste not want not, I thought all the little bits floating around in the bottom of the mug could only help. They certainly couldn’t make my churning gut any worse.

After finishing my foul, spiced apple tea, I hit the streets of London again and was determined to successfully complete RAOK No. 13 whatever the weather. I cranked up my iPod, Sexy Sushi blasting out helped me  brave the elements.  I passed the ice-cream van again and saw three people lingering about, I’m quite sure pondering the same question I had been asking myself; how are 99ers NOT 99p anymore. What is with that? They should change the name to £1.40’s or 140er. Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it though, does it now? I am sure inflation hasn’t gone up that much to add 41p to a traditional 99er.

Anyhow, I shot in quicker than you could say screwball. I bought the two young children their ice creams; their elder sister who they were with (if it was their mother…my, my) was very happy not to fork out £4 for a Banana Split and a Rocket. I managed to get a crackin’ picture with the little munchkins…aren’t they just the cutest things ever!