"Don't cry because it is over, Smile because it happened" Dr. Seuss

Random Act of Kindness No. 33 – Listen to someone’s problem without immediately comparing it to one of your own.

I arrived at University today soaked to the bone. The heavens certainly opened up this morning in London. I was chatting to a couple of my friends before the lecture, and I told them about my RAOK, and if anyone wants to chat about their problems and have an ear to listen give me a shout.

No more than two minutes later we were on the topic of debt, and the ‘joys’ of being overdrawn. I threw my two pence worth in and said how much overdrawn I was. The conversation stopped and they all looked at me.

Balls – I had just compared their problems to mine. How could I do that? Ridiculous, I had been chatting for only a couple of minutes and already I had failed. I decided to give up and unleashed my fury and poured my heart out about how poor I was, and how I don’t have enough money for this months rent that I have to pay on the 23^rd. They did a far better job at just listening than I did.

After the lecture I had a phone call. It was from a friend who is having certain boy issues. This friend is female. I am going to call her Doris. Obviously this isn’t her real name but as she had confided in me I won’t give away her name. Now this is something I am pretty sure I won’t have any trouble comparing it to my own problem, as I have no significant other. I am, however, in an open relationship on Facebook, and this is with a boy, so perhaps this is deterring all the beautiful girls that stalk my page everyday. I know you are out there…

Well Doris seems to have a way with picking the bad apple so to speak. Her last boyfriend was well, a bit of a weirdo. I didn’t ever see what Doris did in him!! Since that one, Doris has been taking a bit of a back seat and just waiting to see what happens.

Recently she has met this other guy. He is on her course and was apparently really nice. They hung out together, and did what one does when courting shall I say. Doris and this guy who I will call Andre went official. Facebook official even, now that is a statement. Everything was going swimmingly. But then I got this phone call.

Doris was on the other end sounding rather up set. I asked what the problem was and she said Andre, he just ended things with me. “Ohhh dear, what happened? Tell William, I am all ears” I had to put that in there. Well it turns out Andre gave her as she put it, “the whole, you’re amazing, I really like you, but I can’t speech”. You know how it goes, ‘it’s not you, it’s me’. What a douche. She blamed herself and said she had been a fool. I told her not to blame herself. Blame your geographical position. “You’re up north, it’s not your fault” (I don’t mean to offend any Northerners, it was purely trying to make her feel better).

I was all ears and then tried to give her some advice. I did explain, I’m probably not best qualified for this considering my current single status, nonetheless, I persisted. I assured her, that it is not the end of the world and there will be someone else out there. This Andre is clearly not worth it. I then came out with this corker, “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”. Now, I heard this saying from a doctor I saw. I had a broken arm and was at the hospital for a check up. My girlfriend had just gone off to University and dumped me. I was what I thought heart broken. He could tell I was upset and asked what the problem was, he clearly knew that it wasn’t my arm. So I told him, he sat back in his chair and with great wisdom said, “as the great Dr. Suess once said,” and then came out with that quote. It has stuck in my head ever since and I left the hospital with a smile on face. From one doctor to another hey.

This was the perfect opportunity to whip out that bad boy. So I did. Doris’ response was perfect. “You know what, you’re right, you’re so right. Since when have you become so wise”. Well I didn’t let her into my little secret but I guess if she reads this she will know.

This RAOK, made me feel great. I had successfully not compared someone’s problem to my own, and I actually managed to deliver some advice successfully.

All in all, what a result.

Forgive and forget

Random Act of Kindness No. 31 – Forgive someone.

Ok, so I hardly ever hold a grudge against someone for very long. I’m a bit of a lover not a hater!

However, talking over a brew with Talulah at her house, she got me to lie on her sofa and close my eyes. She played soft sounds of the sea breeze and waves rolling in. Half an hour later she snapped her fingers whipped me back to reality. Little did I know deep down in my subconscious I still held a grudge, against someone who I went to primary school with 14 years ago.

Back then in school we had a competition to design the front cover over of a book we were making about the little village where my school was. The village was called Ettington. I had developed at the time, what I thought to be, an amazing idea with my 3 older brothers. The title was ‘Ettington Frenzy’. I thought it was very clever as my understanding of ‘Frenzy’ at the time was, wild excitement and was kind of naughty, which, we all were at primary school. I also thought it was a play on words of friends, “these are my frenzies!” is what I used to call my friends – yeah…I was supercool.

So I let my artistic juices flow and came up with this awesome design. My Friend A*** G****** (I don’t think I should say his name, but they are his initials) asked to see my design. I was very keen to show him, as I was very proud of it. I whipped it out of my satchel and showed him. On Friday, the hand in day, he was very secretive about his design and handed it in without showing it to me. I thought nothing of it and carried on with my day as usual, playing hopscotch and kiss and chase in the playground.

Well my world was going to be tipped inside out and upside down after the weekend. The winner was announced. When the teacher read out the name I was disappointed but as a gallant young boy, I was pleased for my friend “Well done A***, you have won” said my teacher, Mrs. Edwards. When she held up his design my world caved in. Not only had I not won (and yes, secretly I was very competitive) but A*** G****** had copied my design. Yes copied it. Not only had he copied it he had even used the same title. Can you believe that?

So, since primary school I have never seen A*** G****** and nor have I forgiven him for copying my design. Since he betrayed and copied me, I have adapted his secretive approach to work, and I hate showing my work to other people, or even discussing it until I get my results back in the fear someone might copy my ideas again.

Yes I have been permanently scared for life because of this.

However, today I have decided to overcome this and forgive Mr G******. I searched high and low on Facebook, Twitter, and every other social networking site I could think of. I came across this man who fits his description, so decided to send him a message on Facebook. Here is this message.

So I feel a massive weight off my shoulders that I did not know was there after doing that. Amazing. I recommend digging deep into your subconscious and forgiving someone also. Feels goooood.